For anyone that’s recently found themselves out of a relationship…
I know some nights you feel like giving up, when you lay in bed, unable to sleep; aching to have someone to hold.
Mornings spent waking up, with a void in your heart, and lump in your throat; using all of your strength just to get out of bed.
This time is not forever. This time won’t last too long. Instead of worrying about what isn’t working, focus on what is.
What if you hadn’t left? What if you were still sticking around?
Sometimes, we’re so quick to forget the ever-long ache we felt while with someone, when the current, sharp pain (of being alone) stings more. But remember, we begin to tolerate the pain, when it’s always there… it hurts more now, because it’s new; but just like any wound, this (too) will heal.
Don’t worry so much about the way you look - the jeans you wear, and the way you curl your hair. I know you’ve lost a little bit of your spark, but that, too, will return.
Instead of wishing for this void to be gone, take time to appreciate it. For at some point, we all must be alone.
And when you want to rush back into something, just to feel like you matter, don’t be so quick; you’re your greatest relationship, my dear - you deserve time to appreciate you.
Buy yourself dinner. Dress up for you. Learn to love the time alone, when you can just worry about you.
I, too, have been there. And I admit, I lost myself. It’s hard to figure out who you are, after spending so much time being half of a whole. But the beauty of breakups is that while it might be painful, you’re stitching yourself back up; you’re working on becoming whole, again.
So go out and have fun, but remember who you are. Your job is to impress no one, until your heart-healing is done. It’s going to hurt, and you’re going to feel hopeless, but there’s no one way to heal; grief takes time.
Everybody in your life brings you something. It might not always be good, but it’s essential. This chapter, too, is important; you have to get through it to see what is yet to come.
If nobody told you this today: you’re beautiful, just the way you are. So cry when you need to. Laugh when you can. Go out and have fun, but spend time being alone. No relationship, regardless of how wonderful it is, will ever be enough, if you don’t love yourself, first.
Don’t be too worried about the day-to-day. You’re doing the very best you can. Life is always changing, and we can’t predict tomorrow. If today isn’t what you want, or where you want to be, don’t worry too much; life always has a way of working itself out.
You’re never alone. Remember that. I’ve been there. I’ve healed. You’re there now. You’ll heal.
Love you so much!